Monthly Archives: July 2014

In memory of 7/20/12

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Some of you may not be aware that yesterday marked the 2nd anniversary of the Colorado theater shooting which took 12 lives and injured 70 more.

I remember quite distinctly that I was out of state visiting family when I heard, or rather saw, the news on our hotel’s TV in the breakfast room. I watched the story, which was played over and over, trying to figure out what building the reporter was standing outside of. Having grown up in the area and having gone to the theater too many times to count, I knew every building in the surrounding area.

The rest of the day was quiet as my family digested the news and hoped fervently that no one we knew was seeing the movie that night. As it turns out, one of the girls that I graduated with just a few months before was in the theater. She wasn’t hurt, thankfully, but I will never forget the way my heart stopped for a few seconds before I found out that she was okay. I cannot possibly imagine hearing the news that your loved one was shot while enjoying the midnight premiere of a movie about a hero or being the one who saw their loved one shot as you survived. I will only say that I am sorry that your loved one was so cruelly taken from you. It is the truest thing I can say.

The first college class that I attended after that summer was a Philosophy class. We went through introductions and when I said where I was from, the professor asked, “That’s where that movie shooting was, right?” He immediately realized that his tone wasn’t quite as respectful as it should have been and apologized, but I was used to the questions and said it was fine.

The first few months after the shooting, there was a petition for keeping the theater open despite some calling for its closing. I signed that petition because it showed that my community was strong despite the actions of one mentally ill person, whose name is not important right now.

The names that are important are the names of the ones who lost their lives.

Violins, waking up slowly, and hands/planets

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I recently observed a workshop in which the presenters gave an unique approach to writing. I think this technique could be most useful for creative writing, but also could be helpful for anyone in academia who has writer’s block and is struggling to put forth words on the page.

Many creative writers, including myself, have expressed the need to have music in the background while they write. I had never thought of music, especially music without words, as an inspiration for a story or even an academic paper, but the presenters changed my mind entirely.

The presenters played a couple music clips and told us to free write while listening about what we felt about the music. After each piece was played, some people shared what they wrote. Some wrote about the instruments that were being played. Some created stories. I wrote a poem for one of the songs.

For this blog entry, I listened to three songs via Pandora’s “Electronic for Studying” station and wrote about what it sounded like to me. I tried to use as many original phrases as possible.

1.Neptune by Ronald Jenkees http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG6FQnbXI0s

Deep red electronic violin pulling and pushing lightly. Summer breeze plays with the hair that refused to stay this morning. Things are slowing down at the end of the day. Wondering what tomorrow will bring. Pushing orchestrations pull my heart and little steps leading to garden of blue redness.

2.Moon by Little People http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IK5I4cTkL-E&feature=kp

Waking up slowly, sleepily. Day starts without me willing it to. Day ends with a violet shade of relief. Stuck in one place, fast paced but not really moving. Voices speak to me. Don’t know what they’re saying, but it sounds like “rise.” It gets rough but my shoulders can bear the burden as long as I have this pen, I think. Pause. Break. Rise again please. I want you to be awake when I see you.

3. Hands of Love by Deuter http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnPhtFzXlHc

Hands-planets-stars, surround me. Sweet, res-o-nating flute music trills and climbs the side of my leg. Echoes. Can anybody hear me? We are alone on this planet, but not lonely because hands around surround me as gentle as… a candle lit in the autumn evening. A vanilla candle, not too cloying, but peaceful. Wavering, but always there. Now the flame-the hands-are double. Little? Big? Big enough.

I would love it if my readers would follow the YouTube links and listen to the songs I wrote to. And if you feel so inclined, do some music inspired free writes of your own.

 

 

Currently Reading

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One of the books that has been a current fascination to me is this i know: notes on unraveling the heart by Susannah Conway.

Conway’s memoir tells of her struggles after the man she loved died from a heart attack as well body image and being alone. Through amazing language and extraordinary Polaroid pictures  (she published this in 2012 and Poloroids are very rare), she seized control of  my heart. I am half her age and never have been in love, so much of what she was talking about, I couldn’t imagine, but it was relatable all the same because of her beautiful, yet fairly simple language.

At the end of each chapter, she had a reflection for her reader to do. Some of them I felt didn’t apply to me as I am not a photographer. But as I am a writer, some of them struck me as absolutely necessary. Such as this one that I’m going to do today:

Write down ten things your audience/readers don’t know about you. Conway called it “bean-spilling.” The beans that you spill do not have shake your families foundations. They can be about parts of your personality only known to you and a select few. For her first bean spilling, she wrote about her loved one dying from a heart attack. I am not ready to spill my own darkness quite yet, although I have written about it for myself almost too many times to count, but I will try to dig as deep as I am willing for my ten facts.

1. I love the rain and the way it smells like hope and forgiveness.

2. I have a comfort book. It is Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine. I read it whenever I’m down or stressed. I read it yesterday.

3. I am quiet, not shy. There is a big difference. The latter is being afraid to talk and the former is only talking when I deem it necessary (or when I’m nervous. I do, unfortunately, babble talk).

4. I like depressing books and find it hard to write stories and poems that aren’t depressing.

5. I have to be surrounded by music. I am currently listening to the music from Doctor Who Season 5. When there’s silence, I find that my thoughts are too distracting.

6. That said, I purposely force myself to drive in silence every once in a while because I really need to spend time with myself.

7. I like receiving letters and writing letters. The regular mail might be slower than e-mail, but I always feel a rush a pleasure at pulling out a new correspondence from my mailbox.

8. I am a very family oriented writer. Many of my creative nonfiction pieces are about my family.

9. I have a memory box which includes all my journals, letters, and other keepsakes from the past few years. Written on the lid and sides are quotes. The ones on the lid are the most important to me.

10. My favorite quote is “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” It is said by my favorite wizard, Albus Dumbledore.

Thank you so much Alice Conway for your delightful and inspirational book.

What would you, my readers, include on your list?