Last night my brain was keeping me awake by thinking, so I wrote this, titled Things I Know about Dementia:

1. It creeps on you slowly. Your loved one is tucking you in at night and then she’s wandering down her street trying to catch a bus home.

2. You visit her in the nursing home and she’s aware enough to follow you to the door begging you to take her home.

3. You can’t take her anywhere anymore, even to Thanksgiving dinner with family, because she became so agitated after last time that she broke a window.

4. You are told that she is losing a lot of wight and she probably won’t last a year.

5. Your sister cries, but you never do. You write instead.

6. Your dad tells the nursing home staff how much she likes dessert. She instantly gains weight.

7. You hear that a resident punched her after she took their food an you laugh. It is the only way to cope.

8. She doesn’t ask to go home anymore. She can’t say a full coherent sentence.

9. She hasn’t recognized you for a long time.

10. You go off to college. The next time you see her, you are shocked by the changes. She is now so frail that she cannot walk. She’s in a wheelchair and uses her feet and the walls to push herself.

11. You visit her whenever you come home from college, scared that you won’t be able to say goodbye.

12. You pass a lady who is screaming because she couldn’t get out of the nursing home. You can’t help feeling glad that your loved one never did that.

13. You hold her hand while your dad pushes her. She drops your hand for a second, but grabs it suddenly like she was afraid you are the one leaving her.

14. You study her face and try to remember what she used to look like.